I am usually a happy little buzzy bee as I zoom through the various activities of my day and my week. I have recently made a challenging shift and complete transformation and from buzzy bee to contented little pig: just wallowing joyfully in my home, cooking and playing with the children, choosing random craft projects from my list of ‘unfinisheds’ to bring to completion, humming happily away as I tackle the laundry. Despite this picture of happy domesticity I still hate cleaning bathrooms.
I am getting very brief glances of the end of it – the end of this period of low energy, amongst other things. Little glimpses of Nirvana as I move through my day: seeing the bottom of my laundry basket just before I drop Rosella’s recent clothes into it, having a shiny clean floor just before Kaelan comes in from the sandpit, a sparkling kitchen just before I make dinner, a tidy desk just before I pull out another craft project.
I don’t know much about Nirvana or Heaven but the pursuit of it in this earthly life time has driven even heros insane. I think we are supposed to wait. I think we are not supposed to have instant gratification all the time. I think we are supposed to know that all things in life form a circle, but that if we see it as a closed circle we surely are only chasing our tails. I could spend my days standing at the washing machine getting very depressed: laundry gets washed, dried, folded, put away, worn, dirtied, washed, dried….and so on. If we look at it as a spiral then we are moving forwards all the time. We may still return to our beginning point, but we are a step closer to this lovely idea of ‘the beautiful end’ each time.
This is how the sun, the moon and the stars travel…each together in cosmic spiral belly-dance. If you trace the movements of each planet in their orbit they create beautiful beautiful patterns. The dance of Venus looks like a flower. And as each celestial being dances past another they make a musical connection, thus creating the ‘music of the spheres’ (this phrase, I just learned, was first used by Pythagorus).
So part of this pause, this healing time at home for me, has been to take time to reflect on my activities, and the way I move through them: to choose to envision the beautiful dance I am making as I move about my home in my seemingly endless tasks. Each time I reveal the bottom of my laundry basket to the light of day I know I’ m belly-dancing my way to Nirvana one load of washing at a time, and that I have contributed music of my own to the great celestial harmony. Yesterday, after six loads of washing (yes, I said six) I feasted my eyes at the sight of the bottom of my laundry basket. I saw Nirvana and I rested there for a while. It was good. Today the bottom of my laundry basket is once again buried and the dance begins afresh.
I know many people write on their blogs to give an impression of a life they don’t really live, and just as I fnished writing the above thoughts I had to stifle a resigned ‘here we go again’ sigh as Rosella came to me with her finished bowl of porridge, which was mostly down the front of her pyjamas (that is two jobs combined!! Kitchen and laundry!!). But that is how it is! Perhaps those blog posts of ideal lifestyles and fabulous creative living are other people’s Nirvanas. Perhaps that is how they envison their reward for the cycles of earthly existence. Perhaps they really do live these fabulous lives … but even if they do there is still laundry to be done, kitchens to be cleaned and floors to be mopped … and *sigh* bathrooms to be attended to.
So I will leave you wondering whether I do actually reward myself with thoughts of celestial dancing, or if it is entirely for your benefit 🙂