Learning to love receiving

I had the most divine experience today – something that completely sealed my decision to be cared for by a home birth midwife. I just do not see an obstetrician or a doctor having the time to care for me in the manner I received today!!

My midwife, her midwife partner and her student midwife all participated in giving me the most luxurious massage today. With six hands gliding over me there was not a bit of skin that did not receive the loving touch of three women who wanted nothing more than for me and my baby to feel relaxed, nurtured and loved – and so I received all that they offered and just slipped away into dreams and memories, together with my baby.

I have to admit it was quite overwhelming, receiving so much love all at once. I started feeling all choked up at one point – and then asked myself why I would feel like crying when I was surrounded by so much love. I took my cue from my baby and just lapped it up. Babies are so good at receiving love, they just look at you and accept it as their right, which of course it is! I could feel my baby moving gently into the best position to receive those beautiful caresses, and so I did too. Laying in the warm sunshiny room, feeling those fluid strokes made me feel like I was lying in crystal clear water on a shallow beach in the sunshine, with waves lapping over me.

It is my right to accept love too – but at what point do we begin feeling that we do not deserve it? At what point do we learn that it is better to give love than to receive it? I think it was a mutual experience today. Those three beautiful women genuinely enjoyed sharing their skills to make me feel wonderful – and so I feel wonderful.

I am a giver. I do feel immensely wonderful when I am able to give someone something they need, when I am able to help someone or teach someone, or watch someone gain enjoyment from something. It is a total buzz for me. Harder to accept it from others.

My friends gave me a blessingway last week and I am still on a high from the warmth they wrapped around me. I sat in the circle and listened to things being said about me that I might have suspected, or hoped I could achieve one day, but not crediting myself with the fact that I already hold the qualities I strive for. It was very humbling – and again I fought the urge to deny the love being freely directed at me.

Why do we wait until we are at a life transition point to accept the love others have for us? Honestly, we should ask for regular blessingways! Not for a birth, or our birthday, not for an anniversary or a life change … or a funeral … why not ask your friends to arrange one for you next week? Take turns. I guarantee it will be a buzz for everyone.

There is a growing global movement to begin RED TENTS – monthly sanctuaries for women to give and receive the nurturing they deserve. I guess that is how I feel about our Sacred Essence Circles … where the focus is on looking within ourselves at what drives us, inspires us .. and a good honest look at where our skills lie  … and then making them shine. Even though I co-host these circles I feel just as nurtured from them as I hope the attending women do. Love is freely given and received in these circles – but how nice to arrange something with the special women in our lives to give back to them what they give to us?

I’m serious! Arrange a group of women and set aside a monthly time to nurture each other. meet for massages, rub each others feet, give each other facials, cook treats for each other, share stories about how you met and why you are such wonderful friends, sing together, make a group gift for each other. One woman a month.

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4 thoughts on “Learning to love receiving

  1. I love this post. If I ever give birth, I hope I can have a similar experience with the midwives that help me!

    • Thanks for visiting my blog Rebekka, I just popped over to have a look at yours. I am very excited about your adoption – make sure you organise a blessingway for yourself before she arrives!!

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